I've been depressed for about 3 months, more that usual at least.
I have to feel spoons before I use them, because I refuse to use spoons that are dirty.
I'm two days clean. (cutting)
I've attempted suicide 3 times.
My best friend doesn't talk to me because his girlfriend doesn't allow him to.
I have a fear of people forgetting me, or leaving me.
I watch 3 daily vloggers.
(Shaytards, CTFxC, and BFvsGF)
I want to join football, but I would probably die I'm so small.
I'm female ._.
I love my name in script.. I'm weird.
I've never seen any superhero movies.
(e.g. Superman, Spiderman, Batman, etc.)
My favorite color is Green.
I love video games.
(e.g. BO2, GTA5, Minecraft, and other steam games that I couldn't bother to name)
I'm the most lazy person you will ever meet. No joke, I'm too lazy to get breakfast in the morning so I wait for lunch then eat noodles.
I think that's a bunch of useless information that you don't care about. xD
Tapping footsteps hit the stage like drops of water as the curtain rises. Drums sound from far off like they're miles away the beat snaps and slows to a whisper, closer than before. She stares at the empty crowd full of regret. Her lips move, but only a thick fog expels from them. Rain slams against the tin roof like bullet casings, trembling alongside the music like it was the bass. Eyre stillness hits the crowd like hammers, as she expels again. The pressure bursts as vibration crash over the silent crowd, filling them with meaning and hope that one day they to might find that special thing. Dancing erupts from a person on the left, then the right, suddenly the whole audience is dancing with the beat. They almost seem to float on the vibrating beats of the re-verb, nothing touching what they have now with the quickening passe of the rain. The air was cold and thick, filled with so much emotion that people start to laugh or cry while they danced away the worries, danced away the cares, danced away the time. If the roof caved in from above, no one would care as they danced they're troubles away. The girl on the stage pours everything into her mic like a growing waterfall, filled with tears she doesn't seem upset but almost joyed. The roller coaster continues to weave up and down, but no one seems to mind because life is full of those surprises. The rain a reminder to what we still have beats like a heart in soothing rhymes as the singer pleads to her audience the last sorrow she ever had. Lights dim, but nothing can stop the beating of hearts in sync with one another as they tune to the music and fill everyone with light that never stops shinning. The music slows and the singer bows, the crowd taken from the spell but filled with something they didn't have before, something they missed from all the chaos that life brings.
Thank you guys for reading I thought you would like something new instead of reading something I had written before. I recommend listening to the song while you read this little story to get the full effect and hope you like the music as much as I did. Thanks!
So to begin I will start by saying I am now happily a new mommy to a beautiful five month old by it was not all happy though.
In April of 2012, I found out I was pregnant. I couldn't be more happy. For months everything was going great. All the doctor visits, check-ups, ultrasounds, came back showing a healthy baby. I found out I was having a little girl and that same day went shopping crazy and bought a ton of baby girl things.
Around Sven months, I went in like usual for a check-up. I hadn't been feeling well, but didn't seem too bad off.
The nurse ch led my blood pressure and asked me if I had done anything that would cause it to be higher than normal. My response was no, but I was feeling a bit off.
The doctor came in to check on the babies heartbeat...and this is where my story begins
After fifteen minutes of searching, he could not find what should have been a very loud beating heart of my little girl. He rushed me to the ultrasound room, and within a moment, I knew what was going on, without anyone having to say a word to me.
He took me back to the examination room and sat me down he handed me a box of tissues where he had to give me the worst news a pregnant woman could hear: " your child is no longer living".
This was on September 25, 2012. My doctor told me that I had to go a deliver my child, but would not be bringing a baby home with me, at least not living. So that is what I did.
I will spare the details, but on September 26,2012 at 10:18pm, weighing 2.2 pounds and 18 inches long, my little Leona Renee was born. Her due date was December 6th.
I was able to spend what little time I could with her, and able to make a few lasting memories that will forever be in my heart. The hospital was so generous and sympathetic, that they made a molding of her footprints.
On October 6,2012, I had a memorial service for my daughter. An ordeal that no parent should ever have to do.
I became depressed, and started cutting to feel that pain because the pain in my heart was too much fore to handle. People asking me what happened, or those who didn't know I lost here rubbing my now barren belly expecting to feel a baby kick, and all I could do was smile sadly and apologize to them and tell them that there is no longer a baby growing inside of me. I wanted to die, but I knew that that was just an easy way out, that for some reason I deserved to suffer. The best way for me to do that, was to keep on living, without my child, with only her memory in my mind, and a picture beside my bed, an empty womb, and an empty house with no sounds of a babies coos, or laughter, just... Silence.
On December 15,2012, I again went to my doctor not feeling like myself. He informed me then, that I was excepting another child, even though I was told I could no longer have children.
Well, on June 28,2013, I gave birth to a healthy baby boy.
No matter what you face, or what you are going through, reach out to someone, you are never alone.
If anyone doubts anything I have to say and you desire proof, I will give it at that time, but due to graphic detail of the photos, I will first ask permission by the admins.
If anyone actually reads all this, I will be amazed. And for those who do, thank you for your time.
Hey! My name is Jay Juliette Tate and I am an orphan. My parents died while we were sitting at home peacefully; it was very dark outside. My mom was in the kitchen washing dishes and my dad was watching the football game with me. One minute we’re all talking about the game and the next there’s loud gunshots and a man with a gun running away. I’ve always wondered who it was that killed my parents and why did that guy want to kill them. I’m determined to find my parents killer and make him suffer just as bad as I did. I have blood red hair and grey eyes with a light blue tint. I am 16. My hair is naturally straight. In the orphanage, I share a room with my “brother” and best friend Levi. Levi and me love BVB, BOTDF, WCAR, PTV, SWS, AA, DDC, and MM. For you absolute morons out there that don’t know what those stand for: BVB- Black Veil Brides, BOTDF- Blood On The Dance Floor, WCAR- We Came As Romans, PTV- Pierce The Veil, SWS- Sleeping With Sirens, AA- Asking Alexandria, DDC- Dot Dot Curve, MM- Marilyn Manson. I love to dance and sing whenever, wherever, and however I feel like it, and don’t you dare try and stop me.
“They say that life’s an open book, turn the page and take another look. You can’t judge me, by my cover. It’s not what you see, but what you discover. Can't push me down, it'll come around, everything that you put me through. I, I, I, I, I don't want to be like you. I may be different, but I'm beautiful. Every diamond's individual! Everyone shines in their own way. Kaleidoscopes have many different colors; I'll never be just like all the others. Gotta open your mind, I'll prove you wrong. They say that life's an open book; Turn the page and take another look. You can't judge me by my cover, It's not what you see but what you discover.”
I sing as I strum the notes on my guitar.
I was sitting in the corner staring out the orphanage window. And no…I’m not “emo”. A lot of people think I’m emo because of the bands and sometimes my bracelets don’t completely cover my cuts and scars, but it doesn’t matter to me. I don’t really give a crap about what they say. Not many people like me… I don’t know why… people just look at me and secede they don’t like me. I love to go shopping at Hot Topic, but other than that I hate shopping. Taylor, Andrew, Sophie, and Jasmine, and myself are all best friends in the orphanage. Tayler has dirty blonde hair and green eyes. Sophie has light brown hair and Hazel eyes with a dark green outlining. Jasmine has Black hair and bright blue eyes.
I’ve always been Jealous of Jasmine. She’s so beautiful. Levi said I’m perfect as I am but I feel like everyone would love me more if I looked like Jasmine. Levi has three guy friends here at the orphanage: Gage, Levi, and Matthew. Gage has brown hair and green eyes. Tayler likes him and he likes Tayler but the aren’t dating which I find very stupid of them. Matthew has black hair and blue eyes. Sophie has the biggest crush on him. Like it a major crush. He likes her too but they’re not dating. Levi is my best friend in the whole world. I have to honestly say I really like him, I always have. His full name is Levi Hull. His dad hung himself to get away from his mother and him, and his mom shot herself, so he doesn’t remember either of them very much. Actually he only remembers his mom. He forces himself not to remember that pathetic excuse of a father. He is, like me, 16. He likes the same kind of music as me. We are so much alike it can get really creepy sometimes. We always finish each other’s sentences all the time. Levi has perfect brown hair that falls just the right way and green eyes that glow when he looks at you. He’s just so perfect. You can guess by the way that I described him that I really like him…like a lot. Gage tells me that Levi has always loved me and that he talks about me constantly. Jasmine has a boyfriend, his names Caleb and he has Blonde hair and Blue eyes. Caleb is really nice and he treats Jasmine right. Matthew and Jasmine are brother and sister. Tayler, and Caleb are brother and sister. Levi and me don’t have any siblings. Sophie and Gage are sister and brother. Levi and me are extremely close. One family wanted to adopt Levi and he said if you adopt me you have to adopt Jay too. We never leave each other and then the family left and I felt bad cause he had the chance to get adopted, but he gave it up for me. As I was about to start another song I heard Mrs. Rose (the orphanage care-taker) call me. I ignored her and started singing “I Refuse to Sink” by Blood on the Dance Floor “I Hate your drama, rumors, and all the bullsh*t that you spread. If killing wasn’t illegal, I would shoot you in the head. I’m pulling on the triggers, I’m pointing middle fingers, If you think I’m giving up, then you really outta f*cks. I do it for the win bustling out with a grin. Going strong, holding hands, and you know our life is bam *BAM* Try to f*ck with me. You will get what you deserve. All these b*tches want revenge. So I dodge 'em and I swerve. I hear those b*tches talk. Causing drama bullsh*t. But I’m never going down. You can’t sink my battle ship. I’ve been cheated, I’ve been broken. I will not be oppressed. I’ve had every last thing taken, till there’s hardly nothing left. But the hates just keep on coming. Even when I lose my faith. It’s because I keep on swimming. They just perish to their hate. No, no, no, no, no, no. Your words can’t keep me down. No, no, no, no, no, no. I won’t give up and drown. I refuse to sink. I’d rather swim. I’m not going down. Cause I will win. Can’t hold me back. Where will you be? I’ll be anchored down. You’ll be lost at sea
Hi, I’m Jayy, I’m gay, The crazy violent f*gg*t with aids, Well, that’s what, other people say, Then it must be true, Cause the things that are that bad are the things I do, If I gave two flying f*cks about what they had to say, That I wouldn’t wake up living life this way, So it would seem you can’t read about me, and the things that you see, And think that's all there is to believe, Like, really? Really? REALLY? Is it true that you can, Sum your life up in a tweet, Cause I can’t, That’s not me, That’s me pretending, To be what everyone wants me to be, But I think it’s time I do me, Be whoever the f*ck I wanna be, Don’t need permission, I’ll do what I please, And when the wave comes, Where will you be? No, no, no, no, no, no. Your words can’t keep me down. No, no, no, no, no, no. I won’t give up and drown. I refuse to sink, I’d rather swim, I’m not going down, Cause I will win! Can’t hold me back, where will you be? I’ll be anchored down; you’ll be lost at sea! Yippee-Ki-Yay, Motherf*cker! I refuse to sink,
I’d rather swim, I’m not going down, Cause I will win! Can’t hold me back, where will you be? I’ll be anchored down; you’ll be lost at sea. No, no, no, no, no, no, Your words can’t keep me down, No, no, no, no, no, no
I won’t give up and drown.”
I finished and I decided I should go see what Mrs. Rose wanted so I went in the bathroom and put on my makeup like Dahvie’s stripes and Jayy’s Evolution makeup and walked to the door. When I opened the door and I saw 2 boys standing in front of the door looking shocked and amazingly happy. I looked at them again and noticed they were BOTDF. I closed the door and ran over to Levi’s bed and woke him up and told him what happened. So we opened the door and they weren’t their anymore so we ran downstairs and I saw them talking to Mrs. Rose. I waited for them to finish and I walked up to her and ask her what she needed and she told me I was being adopted by BOTDF and I ran behind Levi and screamed “I’M NOT LEAVING WITHOUT LEVI!!!” Mrs. Julie looked at Jayy and he looked at Dahvie then he shrugged and he nodded back at Mrs. Julie and she said “Congratulation you two, your names are officially Jay Juliette Vanity and Levi Mitchel Vanity.” Jayy chimed in “Yeah… we agreed to give you Dahvie’s last name because I volunteered to be your ‘mother figure’” I jumped up and gave them both a big hug and thanked them for doing that and ran back up to my room pulling Levi’s arm on my way and we started packing up all our stuff. We then ran back downstairs and stopped at the end of the stairs and dropped all our stuff and ran upstairs and ran into the other’s rooms. Levi ran into the boys’ room and I ran into the girls’ room. I ran up and hugged the first person I saw which was Tayler.
“WHATS GOING ON?” she screamed
“I GOT ADOPTED!!!!” I cried
“Y. You got adopted…. by w..who…” she said
“BLOOD ON THE DANCE FLOOR AND LEVI’S COMING WITH ME!” I screamed
“WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?” they all shouted in union
Just then they all ran in and soon all of us were in a big hug.
“We’re going to miss you all so so so soooooo much.” we said to everyone.
“We’re gonna miss yall too. But please promise to call all the time and one day yall are gonna come and hang out with us….right?” Sophie said with tears streaming down her face
“We Promise.” Levi said as we hugged each one of them.
I stared into Levi’s beautiful eyes and smiled and we both started leaning in and he went to kiss me and the door opened so I looked over and he kissed my cheek. I saw Jayy standing at the door and then looked back at our friends and mouthed ‘I’m so sorry’ and they nodded and Tayler mouthed back ‘It’s ok’ with sad looks on their faces. “Are you ready?” Jayy asked “Can we have 5 more minutes…Please.” I said “I’ll be downstairs when you’re ready” he said while smiling and walking back downstairs. Levi then grabbed my waist and said “I’ve been wanting to ask you this for a while now… will you be my girlfriend?” I told him, “Oh Levi, of course I will!” with tears streaming down my face. So he pulled me close to him and hugged me and he looked in my eyes and said “God, you’re so beautiful.” And he kissed me on my forehead. The next thing you know everyone said “awwwwwww!” and Gage screams “I KNEW IT!” we all laughed and hugged again. We walked back downstairs in the orphanage and Jayy asked “Are you two ready to go?” we made a sad face and looked back at the others and I said “Yea I guess.” I miss them already. At least I have Levi. I had remembered I had left something very important so I screamed “WAIT!!!!” “WHAT?” Jahvie yelled back. “We HAVE to go back. I forgot some…stuff…Please you guys this is really important.” I said “That’s fine sweetheart,” Dahvie said. “Just next time try not to bust our ear drums” Levi mumbled laughing. “I’ll think about it,” I tell him. We turned around and went back to the orphanage and I ran upstairs and grabbed the lockbox I had left in a secret hole in the wall. I ran downstairs to leave but then I ran back upstairs and hugged everyone one more time and left. When Levi saw the box he smiled and said “You kept it” and I told him “of course I did! Why would I get rid of it.”
I got in the car and they looked at me funny but Levi.
“What’s in the box?” Jayy asked “hm. Just memories” I smiled and told them. “Oh Ok,” Jayy smiled “I’m just curious but why did you decide to adopt a kid…well actually two?” Levi asked.
“Well actually it was Dahvie’s Idea. He was talking about how boring it was and how we need to learn to be more responsible so we ended up deciding to adopt a kid. Jayy begged me to get a girl but I wanted a boy eventually we ended up deciding to get a girl but now we’re both happy because Jayy got a girl and I got a boy. We knew as soon as we saw Jay that she had to be his child. Then I saw you and I truly did want to get you too but I didn’t know how the Jayy would feel so we eventually got both of you and now we are very happy.” Dahvie said “Which one of you is the parent?” Levi Asks. “I’m your dad” Dahvie said. Jayy turns in his seat to us a squeals “hehehe and I’m ya momma!” We continued to drive to our new house and I felt Levi hold my hand. I just smiled at him sweetly and put my head on his shoulder. “Gosh I love you so much.” I whispered (I didn’t mean to say it out loud. I meant to just think it).
“AWEEEEEE JAY’S GOT A CRUSHHH!!!” Jayy screamed and I looked around. “I said that out loud?” I asked “Yes” Levi says smiling. “Oops.” I said
I look at Jayy and he just smiled at me and winked. “So first we have to go to the house and get you both settled then we have to go to our friends house ok.” Jayy said. “Jayy can I call you mommy?” Levi asked. “Well, of course honey.” Jayy told him. We got out of the car and I asked “Jayy… can… can I call you mommy to?” “Of course you can baby girl!” he told me. He just laughed and hugged me. “Aww I’m a mommy.” he said. “C’mon you guys hurry up,” Dahvie said. “WE’RE COMING!!” Jayy and me yelled. We ran over to catch up with Dahvie and Levi. “I’m tired” I said yawning “Come here baby girl” Dahvie said I walked over to him and he picked me up like a little child and carried me inside and put me on the couch. “C’mon! I wanna show my baby girl her room!” Jayy said.
“Wait… what about me?” Levi asked. Dahvie replied with “Your room isn’t ready yet so you will be sleeping in Jay’s room until we get yours done.” Dahvie said, and Jayy budded in and said, “I get to decorate your room right?” “Sure mom, just please no girlie-ness stuff okay?” Levi told Jayy. “Okay Levi.” Jayy said. I looked up at Dahvie when him and Levi walked into my room and asked, “Dahvie… can we call you daddy?” “Yeah Dahvie… can we call you daddy?” Levi budded in.
“I would be honored” Dahvie told us. “Thanks mommy and daddy.” we said. I closed the door to my room. Levi and me took a ten-minute nap before going to their friends’ house. When we woke up Dahvie was sitting in my icky boo beanbag reading a “spell book” and Jayy was sitting crisscross in the corner playing with his hair and going off on Dahvie because he popped Jayy’s balloon. “You mother f*cker! When did I start to give a damn? You know when I started to give a damn? YOU KNOW WHEN I STARTED TO GIVE A DAMN? WHEN YOU POPPED MY f*ckING BALLOON! You f*cking ass! Okay? I’m walking through the park; I got my blow pop and my balloon, and you know what you did? YOU POPPED IT! WHAT? W-WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THA-P-PORQUE? Why’d you pop my balloon? THAT RUINED MY ENTIRE DAY! Now why would you just go and pop someone’s balloon like that? WITH YOUR CIGAR? WHO TOLD YOU THAT WAS OKAY? Because I certainly didn’t and the last time I checked, I’m in charge her ha! So the next time…I’m walking through a park, and you see me with a balloon and you think it’s okay to pop it… You know what I’m gonna do? I’m going to stick a pitchfork RIGHT. IN. YOUR. EYE. Don’t pop my balloon… You understand? Don’t… Don’t do it again…. Don’t pop my balloon….” Jayy said. *Sniffles*…*Bursts into tears*
So we drove up to Dahvie’s and Jayy’s friends’ house and we went and knocked on the door then waited for an answer. When the door was opened my mouth immediately dropped from who I saw standing in front of me. I saw five boys standing in front of me, and these boys are music legends! They were Andy Biersack, Ashley Purdy, Jake Pitts, Christian Coma, and Jinxx.
I just want to say thank you. You inspire me to be a better person you have helped me in a lot of ways and I know u have helped others. I have schizophrenia and lately how started to experience post termatic stress disorder and expiring suicidal thoughts. I didn't want to get help for it cause I was scared of the thought of being on medication.one night I started to go through with it and kill myself but I watched some of your videos and decided it was best to get help because I want to help people kind of like how you helped me so I wanted to write this and tell you how you changed my life.so I sincerely thank you so much.
This story beginns with someone who is willing to read it.
It continues with someone who is able to understand and accept it.
Its just a speechless scream.
I was born 1992 in Munich, Germany. My mother give me the name Noah
16 years I lived in an orphan asylum. I was taken from my mother when I was a half year old.
The reason for this is the mental illness my mother suffer from since she was 20. She got paranoid Schizophrenia.
My father was unknow until 2 years ago. I received a letter. He killed himself. Not tragic, I dont know this person.
The orphan asylum was run by the catholic church and so nuns take care of me. When I was about 3 years old a baby come into the asylum.
Suddenly I had a small brother. He dont had a name so the nuns called him Johannes. Later our mother decided to give him the name Aaron.
I dont remember so much of this time but I never forget that I needed to change to another building of the asylum because they want us brothers to be together.
I liked the first day there. I ate a nutellabread for the first time.
When I was 7 years old I had my first schoolday. I was the smallest kid in my class. Always. I dont liked the school. I was bad in every subject. My behaviour was bad as well. I wanted attention.
The nuns were rigorous. They punished us for every mistake. Often I refused to listen. I refused to eat the whole plate. The nuns forced us to eat.
Sometimes I sat in front of my food for 2 hours. I was not allowed to leave the table before finishing. After a while I discovered how to cheat and avoid this situation. I put as much of the unliked food in my mouth and asked to go to the toillet. I spit the food out of the window. My first victory. It had so many abuse.
I cant count them all. Kids where abused by older kids. Often we get beaten for small reasons. The nuns liked to use a carpet beater.
Sometimes we got locked in a dark cellar room. The room was full with potatoes. We all feared this room. In this room was no light, no hope. Just darkness. One time i was locked there for 12 hours. Imagine this little boy sitting there, screaming and crying, and waiting for the light. It came out they forgot me.
Then finnally they let me out. I came to the big room and saw presents under the tree. It was christmas.
I shared one room with my little brother. We cried every night. We wanted a mother. After a while I stopped crying. I stopped feeling. I stopped loosing.
My brother cried alone. I left him.
To be continued
So stay tuned for more excitement and adventure! I hope to make you all proud and most of all, entertained
Hang in there.
ps leave a comment or something please just let me know you are out there.
Flows like a waterfall
but in a never ending nightmare
waiting to be filled with the rainbow of emotions
I am transparent
Your words are a hurricane
Thoughts make you ubiquitous
Gravity pulls my soul through the floor
An untuned guitar
A tone deaf child
Rip out the hopes
Burn the memories
Freedom is Happiness
I am still feeling down and in the dumps. I am probably going to have to go to a GP and get diagnosed for bipolar which is what I think I have according to its symptoms. I'm scared people are going to treat me differently as I already self harm and I am suicidal.[attachment=824:IMG000110.jpg]
Halloween is just around the corner and death is in the air with an abundance of horror movies to watch, YAY!
So here's a list of my favorite horror movies including cheesy horror movies & comedy horror movies, in no particular order.
House of 1,000 Corpses
The Devils Rejects
Killer Klowns From Outer Space
Halloween I & II (including the Rob Zombie remakes)
Friday The 13th (not including Manhattan, space, or Freddy vs Jason)
Nightmare on Elm Street
Sometimes They Come Back
The Dark Half
Poltergeist I & II
The Tell Tale Heart
Fall The House of Usher
House on Haunted Hill (the original)
The Fly (the original)
Diary of a Madman
The Walking Dead (Boris Karloff)
Frankenstein (Boris Karloff)
Night of The Living Dead
Return of The Living Dead
Carrie (the original)
Psycho (the original)
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the original)
Evil Dead (the original)
Silence of The Lambs
In The Mouth of Madness
Whatever Happened to Baby Jane
Fire In The Sky
The Amityville Horror
The People Under The Stairs
The Omen (only the first one)
Saw (only the first one)
Army of Darkness
Ed and His Dead Mother
Shaun of The Dead
Henry: Portrait of A Serial Killer
Sleep Away Camp
The Dead Zone
Is there a standard we have to fulfill to get to a certain point of happiness? Are we just play-toys, just put here for some higher power’s entertainment? Or are we just floating around with no purpose or potential, looking for answers that don’t exist? Are we a mistake? Maybe it’s just in my eyes, but it doesn’t seem like there is a lot of good in the world. Everything I see is just plain awful. Maybe I’m just stuck in a bad place and have a very small perspective on things. Why do humans in general have this need to understand the unknown? I mean, would life be easier if we just never asked any questions and minded our own business? Probably not. I feel like I’m searching for something that isn’t there. Asking for happiness that maybe I don’t deserve to have. Trying to find the fix instead of getting my fix. But when does it all end? Do I have to die to end the pain? I don’t want to die, but I feel so dead inside already. I haven’t been able to understand anything since Day 1. Should I just stop asking?
So recently I have been dating a boy who will remain nameless at this time. We talk through email, but not much during school. I decided that I am tired of him ignoring me at school, but being fine with me out side of school, because he just walked away from me today when I tried to talk to him. I thought it was rude, and not something a boyfriend should do. Anyways I was emailing him, and we were talking about baking, then I brought up him ignoring me. He was doing it because he didn't wanna get made fun of, because a few friends of mine and his were messing around and said something about us dating, well... They said it kinda harshly, and it made him feel insecure.
After talking about it telling him that they were joking and that there was no need to worry, I told him that if he doesn't wanna date me then to let me know, because I wanna know the truth. I thought he didn't wanna be my boyfriend anymore, but to my surprise he messaged back " I WANT TO BE WITH YOU" just like that, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. He actually likes me, and wants to date me, I thought he only wanted a girlfriend to say he was dating someone. So my day went from Ehh, to Crappy, to WONDERFUL because I kept my cool, and didn't freak out.
Thank you for taking the time to read about my Turtle Troubles, be sure to comment your thoughts, and advice. in future blogs I will talk about my huge family, and my past. Thank you for stopping by!
What are things people would like to see in a blog?
~ <3 ~ Turtle
P.S. If you ever wanna talk or need advice, Im your gal, I get told I am like a aspiring young therapist.
hey guys thx for your opinion on the last blog. I gave her all the support I could give her and I told her to see the counselor. she wouldn't listen but she has stoped being suicidal. anyway todays topic is my sister. she drives me insane all the time. she is always bothering me and messing with my stuff. she is always crying like shes a baby. what should I do guys let me know because I need all the help I can get.
I can remember dreams I had in highschool, and it's not just weird dreams.... I've been nearly killed, I've almost killed, I've been hunted, and for some weird reason I've saved people too.....
But emm yes, Thought I'd share since I have this random urge to type, but I have next to nothing to type about haha.
And I apologize in advance for the swearing.... I know some people absolutely hate it....
Hmm.... This one particular dream I had about 2.5 years ago (i think), I watched a famous guy get stabbed to death....
I start by driving up to my primary school, I'm thinking that I need to pick a little boy up (a foster boy that was a total sh*t storm in my life), but I also needed to talk to his teacher because he got in trouble being a little sh*t... again. Anyway, His teacher (also my yr 6 teacher) calls me over and I walk to the room I see him go into. But when I do, I'm suddenly walking in the front door of some lady's house.... but I'm not, when i look down, I don't see my legs, I'm walking, but i'm not making any physical contact with anything.
Being totally confused, I walk a little further into the house, on my left is a small living room, with an old couch, a small tv that's turned off, and a small window, with the shutters pulled half way up, but there's nothing outside, it's just black. On my right is a kitchen, I remember the counter, but not much else, all i remember was that it looked pretty old.
As I walk further down the hallway, there's a little turn to the right before i hit a bedroom, where i hear the panting and breathing of a woman in labor. I look in and there's this lady, sitting on the floor next to a bed, it has a wooden bedhead, and the sheets are faded floral sheets. This woman begins to scream at this man that walked in from what I'm guessing is the bathroom. I recognize the guy from seeing him on tv, but i can't put my finger on who he is......
Anyway, this guy, starts yelling back at this woman, who now starts to freak out. I look down, and there's a puddle of black from under this womans night gown. I've just been... floating (?) there the whole time, and I continue to watch this woman, she doesn't seem to notice me, nor does the man.... Anyway, this woman, freaking out now, tells the man to shut up, so he sits down and starts to put socks on while she starts screaming her head off, as she gives birth to.... well nothing... The puddle of black growns, then this dark red placenta comes out, and she just sits there.... Typical post child-birth look on her face....
Suddenly, this group of suited up men (similar to SWAT I think, they just had full gear, but all black and no labels), start yelling from outside. This woman freaks out, and starts screaming at the guy something incomprehensible, before she grabs this huge knife and starts stabbing him.
Then as the guys outside break in, I suddenly started running after this woman, but I'm not able to control my movements, it was like i was being pulled at the waist by a string that this woman was holding. She was in front of me, and she was dragging along the guy. We were suddenly outside, at night, in a field with grasses up to our waists. And I am still following this woman, half being dragged and half running (but floating?) myself....
Freakiest thing..... Just before I wake up, this woman, starts laughing while she's running, then she turns to look me in the eye, with this freaky ass smile on her face, then she lifts up the guy. He's face is cut, and bleeding.
I remember her running towards a city, or town or something that was engulfed in flames, the lights from the guns the armed guys were carrying were all over the place, but that face... for like 2 months, when id close my eyes, id see that face. It was the freakiest thing ever....
ANYWAY - just wondering is anyone else like this? Does anyone else remember dreams from AGESSSS ago in ftreaky detail? And have dreams like this? Right now, off the top of my head, I can recall about 8 or 9 dreams... but emm yes... lots and lots of detail.... ;_;
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