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Why?

Posted by LunarShy in My Blog, 23 April 2014 - - - - - - · 9 views

I've got a question, for just anybody in general.

Do you think it's okay for somebody to assume that since you got a bad mark on a exam you didn't study?

My whole life has been basically where I do good on homework or in class work, but when it comes to exams I go blank. I could study for 30 minutes, I could study for 5 hours, which I have done before, and it doesn't change much.

I'll get outstanding marks in some cases, but then that's all that is expected of me. So when a bad mark turns up I get yelled at, and my parents assume I've been slacking off when I haven't been. I've been working my ass off in college and am almost done. But all the good I've done gets ignored all because of a low test mark.

So tell me what you think, is it justified for somebody to make such an assumption?
I think that everybody learns differently, there's people who need to study for hours on end, and there is people that don't. But there's also people who just struggle, because of anxiety and stress caused by exams.

I just don't think it's really nice for me to get put down over a bad test mark, when most of my test marks actually have been 20 times better.

I've Never Been Home

Posted by sleepingugly9019 in sleepingugly9019's Blog, 21 April 2014 - - - - - - · 31 views

I'm really just a kid stuck with all the f*cked up stuff that comes with life. ~Real Friends

Suicide, why not?

Posted by kirstenmaree932 in kirstenmaree932's Blog, 20 April 2014 - - - - - - · 48 views
suicide, why not?

Suicide, why not? So you're suicidal? I was there once to. I was feeling worthless, un-noticed, empty, and just flat out depressed. I took several pills just because I didn't care anymore. Then, when it was almost to late, I realized that I didn't want to die. I called a dear friend of mine to ask for help, he hung up on me and called 911 and then my parents. Thank god he did. I was in the hospital for a few days, on and IV and recovering from induced vomiting and way to much sleep. When I left there, I had an entirely different view on suicide. This is what I told myself and still do tell myself when I'm feeling the urge to end it all,
"Start by trying to let go of the past, instead of dwelling on it, learn from it. Try to think of all the bad things that would come from suicide. A part of everyone who cares about you would die with you. The chances of happiness for you would disappear. You wouldn't be able to see the great things this crazy and enchanting world has to offer. It does sound stupid, but there is beauty in everything. You just have to dig deep enough to understand it. To understand the world itself, you have to understand the world inside yourself."
Yea, I know. It may not make sense now, but just wait and it will someday. I promise.

My thoughts uhhh 3: this time it's personal.

Posted by Dick Triangle. in Savannah's Random Mind sh*ts, 18 April 2014 - - - - - - · 49 views

So I have decided to DOCUMENT my thoughts yet ANOTHER TIME
BECAUSE
IT'S FUN, KYLE
WHAT DO YOU NOT SEE ABOUT THAT KYLE
I'VE TOLD YOU
I'VE f*ckING TOLD YOU KYLE
god f*cking damnit Kyle
I need
a book keeper
mmmmmmhmmm
yeah b*tch I said it
WHATCHU GONNA DO?
WHATCHU GONNA DO ABOUT IT b*tch?
NOTHIN?
I THOUGHT SO
neeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhh
nyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I'm Michael Jackson mutherf*ckerrrrr
How can you not tell by the way I am grabbing my crotch
pssshhh
peasants
You know what Kyle?
I want
some f*ckING COOKIES
and you didn't make any f*ckING COOKIES
YOU LITTLE PIECE OF sh*t, KYLE
WHY DO YO f*ckING LIVE, KYLE?
I f*cking HATE YOU Kyle
Guys
guys I think Ellen Degeneres might be a lesbian
I dunno
OMG OMGOMGOGGMGOGMGGOGMGOGGMGOGMGGOGMGGOGMGGOG
oh my f*ckING GOD
If only there were unicorns in my crotch
the world would be so wonderful
WONDERFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
I want my name to be Crotch Unicorn
like
not even just on le interwebs
iinnnnterrweeeeeeeeeebbzzzzzzzzzz
I mean like f*cking
changing my name
MAH f*ckIN' NAEM
to
Crotch Unicorn.
Legally.
Like signing documents.
MORE LIKE d*ckUMENTS
AMIRIGHTGUYS
AMIf*ckIN'RIGHT
GUYS
lol I wonder how many people I annoy with my constant
being annoying
well I assume I'm annoying

I'm afraid I'm annoying
yet I really don't give a sh*t
WHAT IF REALLY
I'M NOT ANNOYING
BUT EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD IS ANNOYING
f*ckIN' PLOT TWIST DUED
PLLLOOOOOOOOOOTTTTT TWWWIIIIISSSSSSTTTTTTTTT
I think dying would be a real DOWNER
wait no hold on
I think dying would be a real
boner killer
uh
party killer
um ok this is going f*cking nowhere
what the f*ck Kyle
you're supposed to be in charge of failure
damnit Kyle
ok
I think dying WOULD BEEEEEEEE
oh god
not another crapcicle little son of a b*tch
godDAMNIT

I will eat my face
for the sake of uh
being mysterious or some sh*t idfk
HA HA
HA HA
HA HA
OH sh*t
LVNROIHGOHVLVNSPRNOTIHPSVSVNERPOV
ok yeah so that really sucks some major ass Kevin
it really does
it
really
does.

WE BUILT THIS CITY
WE BUILT THIS CITY ON ROCK AND ROLL
BUILT THIS CITY
WE BUILT THIS CITY ON ROCK AND ROOOOOOO OOOOOLLLLL
boop da doop sha doopa sha doo ba fa ba ja boop DOO DOO
SAY YA DON'T KNOW ME
OR RECOGNIZE MAH FACE
SAY YOU DON'T CARE TO GO
TO THAT KIND OF PLACE
WE OLD AN EATIN' COLONS
LISTEN TO THE RADIO
DON'T YOU REMEMBAH
WE BUILT THIS CITY
WE BUILT THIS CITY ON ROCK AND ok I don't care anymore
I highly doubt
I know sh*t
yet I know everything
BOOM
THAT'S THE SOUND OF YOUR MIND BLOWING, KYLE
we didn't start the fire
it was always burnin' since the world's been turnin'
we didn't start the fire
it's
DOUGLAS
WHAT THE f*ck COMES AFTER WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE
AFTER THE WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE THAT HAS IT WAS ALWAYS
UGH YOU GET IT
I REALLY DON'T
WELL f*ck YOU THEN
OK
NO NOT LITERALLY
AWW THAT'S DISAPPOINTING
DUED HOW DO I EVEN KNOW YOU
YOU DON'T
YEAH THAT'S TRUE
WHY AM I TALKING TO YOU THO LIKE SERIOUSLY WHAT THE f*ck
YOU'RE NOT, b*tch
SHHHHHHHHHHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT
UP
ok so Dougie what are those lyrics I was talking about brah
I dunno Google it
ok
boom ba ba boom boom ba
I'm Googling some sh*t right nooooowww
OH YEAH
SING IT TO ME BABY
SING IT LOUD
SING IT PROUD
I'M GOOGLIIIIIIIIINNNNNG
SOOOOMMMMMMEEEE SHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT
OOOOOONNNN GOOOOOOOOOOOOOGGGGLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEE
OOOOHHH YEEEAAAHH BIIIIIIITTTCCCCHHH
LOOOK AT MY FINGERS
TYPIN' AWAY
LOOK AT THAAAAAAT
"WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE LYYYYYYRRRIIIIICCCSSSS b*tch"
oh yeah b*tch
uh huh
uh
we got the W
the E
the
ok I'm not f*cking doing this
awwwwwwwww that's disppointing
NO ONE f*ckING ASKED YOU OK
NOONEASKEDYOU
NO1ASKEDU
okaaayy soorryyy b*tch
NOT FORGIVEN
ok hurr
lets see huurr
BILLY JOEL
LYRICS
there needs to be like
BILLYJOELLYRICS.com
WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE
IT WAS ALWAYS BURNING SINCE THE WORLD'S BEEN TURNING
WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE
f*ckING
NO WE DIDN'T LIGHT IT BUT WE TRIED TO FIGHT IT
IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW
HIGH FIVE DOUGLAS
HIGH f*ckIN' FIVE
YEAH
hey Kyle
I wanna fly
can you f*ck THAT UP FOR ME, KYLE?
ARE YOU THE ONE THAT HAS MADE ME CRASH OR BE PULLED DOWN EVERY SINGLE f*ckING TIME I'VE FLOWN IN A DREAM
f*ck YOU KYLE
f*ck YOU
f*ck YOUR PARENTS
f*ck YOUR SISTER
f*ck YOUR BROTHER
f*ck YOUR AUNTS
f*ck YOUR UNCLES
f*ck YOUR GRANDMOTHER
f*ck YOUR GRANDFATHER
f*ck YOUR COUSINS
f*ck YOUR WHOLE DAMN FAMILY
f*ck YOUR GIRLFRIEND
OH WAIT
YOU DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND
BECAUSE YOU'RE A FAILURE IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY
f*ck YOU KYLE
OH YEAH JUST GONNA RUN AWAY NOW, KYLE?
JUST GONNA CRY AND RUN AWAY?
OF COURSE
you f*cking piece of sh*t, Kyle.
I wonder

There's probably like
a nudist colony somewhere
Hey I bet you'd like to go to a nudist colony, Doug
f*ck yeah I would b*tch
WOW OK OK COOL IT WITH THE GAYNESS
YOUR VOICE IS JUST
WOW
TOO FABULOUS
sorryyyyyyyyyyyy
STILL TOO FABULOUS

sorry.
ok that's like
less fabulous than a dirty rag
you have really let yourself go Dougie
YOU TOLD ME TO
I WAS f*ckING JOKING YA sh*t
UUUGGGHHH MAKE IT CLEARER NEXT TIME! GOD
I WILL DO WHAT I WANT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH
AND I DO NOT WANT TO MAKE IT CLEARER NEXT TIME
ok fine I'll just die
lol bruh dat ain't even possible
well yeah I know it isn't
oh you
oh me
HAHAHHAHAHAH
I wonder what day it is
haha I bet this is like
so long
I guess I'll end it then
cries
AIGHT GUYS YOU READY FO DIS
DOUGLAS?
YEAH BETCH
KYLE?

OK SO UH
~The End~

What is it to Remember?

Posted by Blooming Darkness in Life is a Wonderful Yet Pointless Poem, 18 April 2014 - - - - - - · 43 views

What is it to remember? Those moments in life that matter? Those ghosts of your past, dwelling in your head, corrupted memories, some, but yet others crystal clear. What is it that decides that you remember? Is it the amount of joy you felt at the time? Or the pain, anguish and despair.
Remembering those moments spent with family and friends. Those moments of solitude and isolation. Why is your first love so easy to remember? In the end, old and frail, abandoned and forgotten, why is it so necessary to remember? Does it remind you of what was? Those moments so dear to you?
In the end, are those albums and photos all you have left? Those memories in your head, the only proof that you once lived?


Memories are a moment frozen in time,
and as long as we retain those memories
in that moment that we remember...
we will never die..



-Blooming Darkness

Takanori Nishikawa is s*xy

Posted by Fantasia Loves Rock in Fantasia Loves Rock's Blog, 18 April 2014 - - - - - - · 32 views

Takanori Nishikawa is s*xy Takanori Nishikawa. .. hot, s*xy,cute, adorable, and other adjectives :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: to me he's one of Japan's top celebs and hottest one :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: For a 43 year old guy he is s*xy and very good looking. he's one of my favorite jpop and jrocl artist. you guys should listen to him he's so great and has an amazing voice :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub:

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New Video and More On the Way :)

Posted by Jessica_MJ in Jessica_MJ's Blog, 17 April 2014 - - - - - - · 70 views

Hi :D

I haven't posted a video in a while. I've been busy with performances. But I have a lot of free time so here's the first of many that I'll be posting.



Thank you to everyone who has watched my videos. I hope you like them. Be sure to subscribe and I love to read your comments :lol:

hi...

Posted by kyra_banna in welcome to the matrix that is my life , 17 April 2014 - - - - - - · 63 views
#hi

hi... hi... so your'e wondering who the fluck is this crazy blitch? well im called Kyra and I've been homeless twice my mom and dad were divorced when i was 7 so yeah... i look to youuuu... i look to youoo.. and when all my faith is gone in you i here a song... oh did i just have a glee outburst i am so sory!!! a while back i was realy bad at life (still am but..) i saw an onision video and i rotfl'd all over the room and then died and came back to life! :o i know right amazing... anyways i been through alot and i look to onision most people think he's a phyco rapist, well... there wrong, if someone can make me coe out of a spirriling depression finnaly have frenz and be confident that persons a pretty damb good person... oh no so much sad lets fix that.... im a banana im a banana im a banana look at me MOVE!!!! (sing they said, your good they said) so yeah ya'll just keep reading my bog boob sqeeze..... :wub: unicorns xx

Im on Youtube

Posted by brigirl108 in Life of a Young Lesbian, 15 April 2014 - - - - - - · 52 views

Hey guys thnx for reading my last post. well ive been good lately. the commotion has died down a bit. im still unsure of when to tell my parents. im a very mature but indecisive person. maybe you guys should lend me a hand here. oh and I forgot to mention that I have a youtube channel just type in briana ward and its there don't forget to give me a hand by subscribing. Thanks for reading this and for being nice. Bye!!!

Girl.

Posted by janieem in sugar, sugar, 15 April 2014 - - - - - - · 46 views

hm,ok so today I came late to school, I was at the attendance office but while I was waiting for the girl behind the desk to give my the pink slip to go to class this kind of bug girl with colored hair came in with a struggle bc shw had crutches. I over heard her telling the people in the office that she fell while walking out of a bus. Anyway, she was sitting down on the chair across from me and she pulled up her sleeves and she had scars all over her arm (arms? Not sure I only saw one arm) and I felt pain. I felt her pain. No pity towards her but the fact that she got to a point where she felt needed to drag a blade across her arm/wrists.I wish I could have told her something to at least bring positive input into her day. I'm thinking of doing something to help those who want ti get better, I feel like God is telling me to. Maybe I'll feel full finally. Who knowsss. Either way I hope God enters her life aomeway and changes her pov about her problems. God is good.

Takanori Nishikawa

Posted by Naomi in Naomi's Blog, 11 April 2014 - - - - - - · 63 views

Takanori Nishikawa OK so i go to school and I love Takanori Nishikawa i love him he is known as T.M.Revoluition ppl at my school always say he looks like a girl and im like stop hatting just bacuse he can do make up and you cant lol really come now its my music and i go to an public school in cincinnati ohio sigh i hate my school sometimes, dont respect you because your different ot dont listen to rap music

the hole that i live in

Posted by laxislife<342 in laxislife<342's Blog, 10 April 2014 - - - - - - · 82 views

a deep hole
hidden away
those words
those actions
they chase me
back here
to the hole
that I live in
hidden
from society
alone, again
knives
bring me to
someone I know
who cares
where I can
live eternally
hidden away
would they
even notice?
no

What

Posted by Mikila in Mikila's Blog, 08 April 2014 - - - - - - · 43 views

this is my first time on this site. I'm slightly confused but I'm sure I'll get the hang of it haha XD

A poem

Posted by Jade in My blog, 07 April 2014 - * * * * * · 123 views

Life. Its all pain.
Anger and sorrow
Give me a knife to borrow
Let it go in my skin, As deep as possible

Soon i will be with the reaper
tears dripping.
Im to worthless to be here
All my Frights become my fears.

The words fill my head
You b*tch, sl*t, wh*r*
Tearing my heart apart,
Im not alive im just breathing.

Cutting so deep hitting vanes
again and again leaving blood clots
Dont judge me for what i do,
Judge me for who i am today

Im not okay. My arms and legs filled with scars
Each and everyone i deserve
You look at my smile,
Not my wrists.


Bye me, Jade.

My confusing dream

Posted by KatWillEatYoℱᎯℂℰ in Katie's World, 06 April 2014 - - - - - - · 52 views

So I had a dream the other day and it was really f*cked up. I thought I lost my dad because of a house fire blah blah blah not gonna get into that. He was away for years. And so my dream was really odd and crazy. So I was probably about 10 in this dream, and for some f*cking reason my parents were together. I'm not really sure why, but they were. And so I was asleep one night and my mom was doing taxes and my dad was smoking outside. From some f*cking magic the kitchen lit up on fire and my mom and dad BOTH ENDED UP DYING. Who even has dreams even remotely as depressing as that? Losing two of your parents at 10. It only gets crazier from there on out. I was sent to a foster home and JUST WAIT. I ended up being abused and dying from internal bleeding two weeks after foster care. WHAT. THE. f*ck. I DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND THIS. I can't understand this dream. Do I need help? Do I want therapy? I don't even know.

How to be happy with yourself :)

Posted by FabulousBro in FabulousBro's Blog, 06 April 2014 - - - - - - · 58 views

FIND 10 THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF! You will be instantly happier. Be confident and think about what makes you so great.
RECOGNIZE YOUR FLAWS! Learn to laugh at yourself. And don't forget to forgive yourself.
BE GRATEFUL! Appreciate your health. If you are a healthy person who does not have trouble eating,sleeping or walking, be grateful!
DON'T FORGET TO LAUGH---EVER! Be around with people who love to laugh. Laughter is contagious!
LOVE YOUR FACE! Focus on your favourite features.
SMILE! The more you smile, the more approachable and friendly your face will look.
KNOW WHEN YOU NEED A CHANGE! If your old favourite hobby is no longer working for you, move on.
APPRECIATE YOUR FRIENDS! They can give you advice that no one else can. Dump your toxic friends.
LEARN TO FORGIVE! Being stubborn won't help the situation.


Hope this helped you guys and have a wonderful day! :)

Friends

Posted by DimmedOutStar in DimmedOutStar's Blog, 05 April 2014 - - - - - - · 59 views

I originally thought the idea of "best friends" was a really good one. I remember how optimistic I would be whenever "friends" were involved...so stupid I was. I really didn't care if I had friends since I was always on my own. But now since I do have some, (or at least that's what I think) I have mixed emotions. I don't like being alone anymore, but neither do I like being around people.

Since I have had the chance to feel the happiness of having friends, being alone feels horrible. (But then again since I'm used to it, it feels a bit "familiar".) I mean sure it feels nice and all, but I know it won't last. My mother would always tell me the same thing "There is no such things as "friends" in the real world." Growing up made me believe it more and more.

What made me believe in it even more in it. Is the event that has happened a couple of months ago, but then it was brought up again in conversation. An old "friend" was able to contact me, and I remember him asking me if I'm okay.

At first, I didn't really understand what he meant by that. Then he told me about about how he used to feel sorry for me when he used to be at my school before he moved. He also told me that the only friend I had was him, and that because of him I have the rest of my friends.

And I don't know why, but its just still a thought that won't leave my head.

Teenage girl drama....sorta

Posted by confusedJess in confusedJess' Blog, 05 April 2014 - - - - - - · 100 views
confused, boyfriend, drama, love and 6 more...

So hi internet :/ I apologize if this is stupid or the wrong place to put this but well not like y'all can hurt me through a screen anyways......I recently fell for a guy HARD. I fell in love but I shouldn't have. He was literally all I could hope for in a high school sweetheart or even someone I'd happily spend the rest of my life with. He was insanely smart, funny, gorgeous, truthful, an artist, and so much more. A year and a half older than me. He made me feel something I don't often feel even when people do compliment me. Beautiful. He always made me feel wanted, loved, safe, and for once completely happy. He was my prince in shining armor coming to save me and take me away from all the insecurities and hurt I felt. We met during last summer and confessed we were attracted to each other a week after meeting. One night, after texting for a good 5 hours straight, I confessed. Stupidly brave I know. About 10 minutes later he said 'I love you too.' I cried from happiness. Sometimes though he wouldn't text me for weeks and when he finally did again he would give excuses like he was busy. I quickly forgave him every single time.Sometimes he even fell asleep while texting me or 'forgot we were in a conversation'. I was ignorant and a for once I let every shield I spent years of loneliness and depression putting up. I fell in love for the first time and I threw away being scared because, how could someone so perfect ever hurt me. He said he loved me. over and over along with calling me beautiful, gorgeous , s*xy, intelligent........ I threw my everything into those 3 words. Then, one night we were texting for hours again and this time everything went out of control......He was just another horny teenage boy. He told what he'd like to do to me and even went as far as trying to get me to s*xt him in an RP style. I was at a loss considering I'd told him I hated guys who acted like that because I consider them dangerous. No WAY am I going to have a baby in high school. I'm not even legal. The s*xual theme to the conversation didn't bother me as much as the detail he put into it. Size, detailed RP............I cut the (illegal) conversation off and laid in bed between crying and laughing at how stupid I was to fall in love ion the first place. We didn't talk again for about 3 weeks when I forgave him. Again. The next day he tried to s*xt me again and I playfully (to get the point across) reminded him I would need a ring on my left ring finger before I'd put out. He laughed saying he was joking and soon stopped texting me again. Now I'm here and he hasn't responded to any of my texts or emails. It's been a week already. He hasn't told me he loved me since 2 days after he first said it. I've told him I've loved him numerous times. I'm scared and confused and trying not to cry though I feel empty and worthless......Crying makes me feel weak when I want to be stronger than this......well there's my stupid tenage love life! If you read all of that thank- you and advice maybe?

Adiós.

- Jess

Bad best friend?

Posted by jazzzzys in jazzzzys' Blog, 05 April 2014 - - - - - - · 51 views

So my best friend isn't answering any phone calls texts or messages on anything I'm worried she's been depressed lately and I feel like an awful friend for knowing what's wrong what should I do?

The Russian Sleep Experiment

Posted by Owen in Owen's Blog, 04 April 2014 - - - - - - · 97 views

Russian researchers in the late 1940s kept five people awake for fifteen days using an experimental gas based stimulant. They were kept in a sealed environment to carefully monitor their oxygen intake so the gas didn't kill them, since it was toxic in high concentrations. This was before closed circuit cameras so they had only microphones and 5 inch thick glass porthole sized windows into the chamber to monitor them. The chamber was stocked with books, cots to sleep on but no bedding, running water and toilet, and enough dried food to last all five for over a month.
The test subjects were political prisoners deemed enemies of the state during World War II.
Everything was fine for the first five days; the subjects hardly complained having been promised (falsely) that they would be freed if they submitted to the test and did not sleep for 30 days. Their conversations and activities were monitored and it was noted that they continued to talk about increasingly traumatic incidents in their past, and the general tone of their conversations took on a darker aspect after the 4 day mark.
After five days they started to complain about the circumstances and events that lead them to where they were and started to demonstrate severe paranoia. They stopped talking to each other and began alternately whispering to the microphones and one way mirrored portholes. Oddly they all seemed to think they could win the trust of the experimenters by turning over their comrades, the other subjects in captivity with them. At first the researchers suspected this was an effect of the gas itself...
After nine days the first of them started screaming. He ran the length of the chamber repeatedly yelling at the top of his lungs for 3 hours straight, he continued attempting to scream but was only able to produce occasional squeaks. The researchers postulated that he had physically torn his vocal cords. The most surprising thing about this behavior is how the other captives reacted to it... or rather didn't react to it. They continued whispering to the microphones until the second of the captives started to scream. The 2 non-screaming captives took the books apart, smeared page after page with their own feces and pasted them calmly over the glass portholes. The screaming promptly stopped.
So did the whispering to the microphones.
After 3 more days passed. The researchers checked the microphones hourly to make sure they were working, since they thought it impossible that no sound could be coming with 5 people inside. The oxygen consumption in the chamber indicated that all 5 must still be alive. In fact it was the amount of oxygen 5 people would consume at a very heavy level of strenuous exercise. On the morning of the 14th day the researchers did something they said they would not do to get a reaction from the captives, they used the intercom inside the chamber, hoping to provoke any response from the captives they were afraid were either dead or vegetables.
They announced: "We are opening the chamber to test the microphones; step away from the door and lie flat on the floor or you will be shot. Compliance will earn one of you your immediate freedom."
To their surprise they heard a single phrase in a calm voice response: "We no longer want to be freed."
Debate broke out among the researchers and the military forces funding the research. Unable to provoke any more response using the intercom it was finally decided to open the chamber at midnight on the fifteenth day.
The chamber was flushed of the stimulant gas and filled with fresh air and immediately voices from the microphones began to object. 3 different voices began begging, as if pleading for the life of loved ones to turn the gas back on. The chamber was opened and soldiers sent in to retrieve the test subjects. They began to scream louder than ever, and so did the soldiers when they saw what was inside. Four of the five subjects were still alive, although no one could rightly call the state that any of them in 'life.'
The food rations past day 5 had not been so much as touched. There were chunks of meat from the dead test subject's thighs and chest stuffed into the drain in the center of the chamber, blocking the drain and allowing 4 inches of water to accumulate on the floor. Precisely how much of the water on the floor was actually blood was never determined. All four 'surviving' test subjects also had large portions of muscle and skin torn away from their bodies. The destruction of flesh and exposed bone on their finger tips indicated that the wounds were inflicted by hand, not with teeth as the researchers initially thought. Closer examination of the position and angles of the wounds indicated that most if not all of them were self-inflicted.
The abdominal organs below the ribcage of all four test subjects had been removed. While the heart, lungs and diaphragm remained in place, the skin and most of the muscles attached to the ribs had been ripped off, exposing the lungs through the ribcage. All the blood vessels and organs remained intact, they had just been taken out and laid on the floor, fanning out around the eviscerated but still living bodies of the subjects. The digestive tract of all four could be seen to be working, digesting food. It quickly became apparent that what they were digesting was their own flesh that they had ripped off and eaten over the course of days.
Most of the soldiers were Russian special operatives at the facility, but still many refused to return to the chamber to remove the test subjects. They continued to scream to be left in the chamber and alternately begged and demanded that the gas be turned back on, lest they fall asleep...
To everyone's surprise the test subjects put up a fierce fight in the process of being removed from the chamber. One of the Russian soldiers died from having his throat ripped out, another was gravely injured by having his testicles ripped off and an artery in his leg severed by one of the subject's teeth. Another 5 of the soldiers lost their lives if you count ones that committed suicide in the weeks following the incident.
In the struggle one of the four living subjects had his spleen ruptured and he bled out almost immediately. The medical researchers attempted to sedate him but this proved impossible. He was injected with more than ten times the human dose of a morphine derivative and still fought like a cornered animal, breaking the ribs and arm of one doctor. When heart was seen to beat for a full two minutes after he had bled out to the point there was more air in his vascular system than blood. Even after it stopped he continued to scream and flail for another 3 minutes, struggling to attack anyone in reach and just repeating the word "MORE" over and over, weaker and weaker, until he finally fell silent.
The surviving three test subjects were heavily restrained and moved to a medical facility, the two with intact vocal cords continuously begging for the gas demanding to be kept awake...
The most injured of the three was taken to the only surgical operating room that the facility had. In the process of preparing the subject to have his organs placed back within his body it was found that he was effectively immune to the sedative they had given him to prepare him for the surgery. He fought furiously against his restraints when the anesthetic gas was brought out to put him under. He managed to tear most of the way through a 4 inch wide leather strap on one wrist, even through the weight of a 200 pound soldier holding that wrist as well. It took only a little more anesthetic than normal to put him under, and the instant his eyelids fluttered and closed, his heart stopped. In the autopsy of the test subject that died on the operating table it was found that his blood had triple the normal level of oxygen. His muscles that were still attached to his skeleton were badly torn and he had broken 9 bones in his struggle to not be subdued. Most of them were from the force his own muscles had exerted on them.
The second survivor had been the first of the group of five to start screaming. His vocal cords destroyed he was unable to beg or object to surgery, and he only reacted by shaking his head violently in disapproval when the anesthetic gas was brought near him. He shook his head yes when someone suggested, reluctantly, they try the surgery without anesthetic, and did not react for the entire 6 hour procedure of replacing his abdominal organs and attempting to cover them with what remained of his skin. The surgeon presiding stated repeatedly that it should be medically possible for the patient to still be alive. One terrified nurse assisting the surgery stated that she had seen the patients mouth curl into a smile several times, whenever his eyes met hers.
When the surgery ended the subject looked at the surgeon and began to wheeze loudly, attempting to talk while struggling. Assuming this must be something of drastic importance the surgeon had a pen and pad fetched so the patient could write his message. It was simple. "Keep cutting."
The other two test subjects were given the same surgery, both without anesthetic as well. Although they had to be injected with a paralytic for the duration of the operation. The surgeon found it impossible to perform the operation while the patients laughed continuously. Once paralyzed the subjects could only follow the attending researchers with their eyes. The paralytic cleared their system in an abnormally short period of time and they were soon trying to escape their bonds. The moment they could speak they were again asking for the stimulant gas. The researchers tried asking why they had injured themselves, why they had ripped out their own guts and why they wanted to be given the gas again.
Only one response was given: "I must remain awake."
All three subject's restraints were reinforced and they were placed back into the chamber awaiting determination as to what should be done with them. The researchers, facing the wrath of their military 'benefactors' for having failed the stated goals of their project considered euthanizing the surviving subjects. The commanding officer, an ex-KGB instead saw potential, and wanted to see what would happen if they were put back on the gas. The researchers strongly objected, but were overruled.
In preparation for being sealed in the chamber again the subjects were connected to an EEG monitor and had their restraints padded for long term confinement. To everyone's surprise all three stopped struggling the moment it was let slip that they were going back on the gas. It was obvious that at this point all three were putting up a great struggle to stay awake. One of subjects that could speak was humming loudly and continuously; the mute subject was straining his legs against the leather bonds with all his might, first left, then right, then left again for something to focus on. The remaining subject was holding his head off his pillow and blinking rapidly. Having been the first to be wired for EEG most of the researchers were monitoring his brain waves in surprise. They were normal most of the time but sometimes flat lined inexplicably. It looked as if he were repeatedly suffering brain death, before returning to normal. As they focused on paper scrolling out of the brainwave monitor only one nurse saw his eyes slip shut at the same moment his head hit the pillow. His brainwaves immediately changed to that of deep sleep, then flatlined for the last time as his heart simultaneously stopped.
The only remaining subject that could speak started screaming to be sealed in now. His brainwaves showed the same flatlines as one who had just died from falling asleep. The commander gave the order to seal the chamber with both subjects inside, as well as 3 researchers. One of the named three immediately drew his gun and shot the commander point blank between the eyes, then turned the gun on the mute subject and blew his brains out as well.
He pointed his gun at the remaining subject, still restrained to a bed as the remaining members of the medical and research team fled the room. "I won't be locked in here with these things! Not with you!" he screamed at the man strapped to the table. "WHAT ARE YOU?" he demanded. "I must know!"
The subject smiled.
"Have you forgotten so easily?" The subject asked. "We are you. We are the madness that lurks within you all, begging to be free at every moment in your deepest animal mind. We are what you hide from in your beds every night. We are what you sedate into silence and paralysis when you go to the nocturnal haven where we cannot tread."
The researcher paused. Then aimed at the subject's heart and fired. The EEG flatlined as the subject weakly choked out, "So... nearly... free..."
This is not my work!




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