Onision Forums: Onision Forums -> I don't know what to think about this.

I have this (ex) friend who I had been friends with for about five or six years. Now this person I have never met in person, as she lives in the United States and I in Germany, but we were very close. We talked to each other every day. We would tell each other things would couldnt tell others. We were really close considering our distance.

Now, I have been going through a lot medically these last few years and sometimes that gets a little depressing for me, and I tend to sometimes even get angry when I take some of my medication. I do not purposly like to be angry in fact many people I know find it suprising when I get in these moods because they have never seen me get like that. A few weeks ago I was in my angry mood, I was being snippy as my husband stated. She was complaining to me about her family not having enough money to pay rent, even though she just spent 1000 USD for her son to have a lap top as a gift because "we didnt think he would graduate high school but he is". I really thought that was a stupid reason to buy him a "gift" of the sort. I told her that she should be a little more responsible with her money and spend it with bills instead of buying a laptop. There are cheaper things that could have been just as nice a gift and not made them go broke. She didnt like me saying that even though I wasnt mean about it, I was just suggesting.

Later that day she started to get pissy to me complaining about how she hates her husband, but refuses to get a divorce because she doesnt want to have to get a job. Now I have heard for the last few years, her complaing about this, so I would have really liked to see her do something about the situation For the last three years ive been telling her she should leave her husband if she isnt happy, her kids are old enough to understand and know that they fight and hate each other. She just doesnt want to work. Well I got fed up and told her she should stop whining if she is not willing to change the things she has power to change. I stated that she is in good health (unlike me), she has her family, friends, and her children (most of my family hates me so I cant look up to them), I really didnt feel she had room to complain about something so little that is changeable. She took great offense to this, telling me how dare I talk to her like this and also that I had been treating her like crap for a long time, even though I had not said much to her at all.

For many years she had been cutting herself, and using trigger videos to feed her wanting to cut herself more, but she refused to talk about what was bothering her aside from her situation with her husband and financial issues. However when things had to deal with me...i.e doctor visits, updates on surgerys, all this, she expected me to tell her everything in detail, she would never except simple answers and when I didnt tell her something about a doctors visit or such, she would get angry and sad that I left her out of "knowing" how sick I am. This was very once sided and I didnt like it. So for me holding back my medical information, she felt I was being mean to her (Sh*t with her is what she said).

After I had called her a whiner, and after I was off certain medications I apologised to her, and very sincerly stated I was sorry for being a jack donkey. She was so hurt about me calling her a whiner that she said "I dont know if we could be friends, you hurt me pretty bad". I didnt really understand it. I mean friends get mad at each other, they say things they dont mean in angry (I was on meds to add to it) and they make up and everything is fine again. After three weeks of her ignoring me, her son came online on her messanger account and messeged me "Just so you know this is *Her sons name*, just letting you know so you dont think my mother is ignoring you". She has ignored me for 3 weeks and never told her kids we were not talking to each other. I said I didnt care, and he got defensive. I get a messege from her later saying I should stop being mean to her kids.....WHAT? I wasnt mean to her kids. All I said was I didnt care. I love those kids, I wouldnt say anything bad to them, or offensive.

After all this mix up I wrote her a letter saying that I would love to still be friends with her, but I wasnt sure if she wanted that since everything I said she comes back with "do you really mean that or are you just saying that for bullcrap?". I really did want to be friends with still, I love her, she is (was) my friend. She sent me a messege back saying "Just in case I am not clear, you are not my friend anymore!". I was sad about that, but I really cant change her mind. She acted like I was the only person in the world to call her a whiner, or said anything so offensive. People have said worse to her, I know I have heard things people say to her. Breaks my heart that she cant take what my situation is in account to understand I have mood swings, and I do say things that I do not mean to say to hurt her perposly.

Was I wrong for calling her a whiner? Did she take it too far? I really am confused over the whole thing. She is still telling her kids I was mean to her, and that I am not a nice person. I really dont know what to think of it all.

Anyways if you got this far, thanks for reading. Sorry if my words are all jumbled.